The Absence of Fear

Have you ever taken a step back and deeply thought about all of the moments in life that scared you? Do you look back on those moments and realize that, in the big picture, your reasons for being scared were pretty insignificant?

If you said yes to either one of these questions, then know that you are not alone. I completely understand how you feel, and I’m sure most of our peers will agree. It’s a common occurrence to be scared every now and then. Let’s face it: we wouldn’t be human if we were completely immune to fear all the time.

I’ve been reflecting on my life quite a bit lately, and I’ve been thinking about certain moments in my life that I most definitely thought were going to make me or break me. I look back on those moments when I let my own fears and insecurities hold me back from living the life that I wanted for myself, and to be honest, it makes me a little sad for the girl that I used to be. The girl that lived her life constantly worrying about things and analyzing how every single action could lead to the next and so on and so forth. The girl who was way too concerned about what other people thought. I would ultimately talk myself out of doing something that I wanted because I had convinced myself that I couldn’t do it, simply because I was too scared. Or, oftentimes, because I listened to the opinions of others and failed to follow my own heart.

I went through this very recently when I was offered an amazing opportunity that I had been dreaming of for well over the past year. When the opportunity presented itself, my heart told me to take it and just go for it, no questions asked. Yet, there was a brief moment when I became way too consumed in my own fears, doubts, and insecurities, that I nearly almost talked myself out of it. It was one of those moments when I asked myself “who are you right now? This is what you want, so you shouldn’t even be questioning it. Get out of your own head!” It was a brief moment of weakness for me that felt so surreal because I hadn’t felt that way in quite some time. I was beating myself up, stressing myself out, and just feeling so disheartened. I was hating every single second of it because I knew that it wasn’t like me. Not anymore. Even my closest family members recognized that, called me out on it, and talked some sense into me. However, it forced me to, once again, re-evaluate just how far I’ve come at this particular point in my life. It was a pivotal moment for me to give myself a huge pat on the back for everything that I’ve accomplished so far, and, in turn, it allowed me to suppress any of those little doubts and fears far out of my heart and my mind. I was able to recognize a brief moment of weakness, seize it, and turn it into a moment of strength and pride. For me, it was further proof and re-assurance that I have always been stronger than I’ve given myself credit for. It was also a reminder to face my fears, follow my dreams, and maintain the strength to continue to pursue the goals that I have set for myself.

Don’t get me wrong, I still have my moments in which I feel subpar to others. I often tell myself that I just “need to get my life together because I’m sucking at it.” Then, I realize that I’m doing a whole lot better than I think I am, and comparing myself to others is an insecure thing for me to do that shouldn’t be worth my energy. The older I get, the more I crave new opportunities and challenges for myself. New adventures, new people, new perspectives, and new life lessons. The more I seek to overcome my fears, doubts, and insecurities. I’m not perfect, by any means. None of us are, but I do believe that if we choose to live our lives with an absence of fear, then we can truly achieve anything that we set our minds to. We constantly need to strive to become better versions of ourselves every single day.

I came across a quote in recent months that really resonated with me that stated: “The only person you should ever compare yourself to is the person you used to be in the past. Keep moving forward, baby. You’re killing them.”

So, with that being said, just remember to suppress your doubts and insecurities, face your fears, follow your dreams, and always strive to be the best version of yourself that you can be.

 

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